Lock stock and a bunch of shitty knobs.

You can only imagine how excited I was when the owner finally turned over the keys to my fantastic home. However, I was a little startled to find that there was not just one set of keys, but three c0mpletely different sets… Apparently, when the owner, previous owner, and whatever other miscreants were occupying my home decided to change out the various locks over the years, they never took the time to have the remaining locks re-keyed, leaving a house with three different sets of exterior locks. My timetable might not be exact, but I imagine that somewhere around 400 years ago when Christopher Columbus rode a dinosaur to America from Egypt, he didn’t envision a new world with a bunch of shitty mis-matched doorknobs on every house. I like to think that my personal brand of OCD isn’t too spicy, but having a different key for each door to the house was not something I could wait on taking care of.

Being that I’m from THE OC, I can appreciate a good facade, and where else to showcase how classy you  are than the front door. The existing setup was a mismatched set of standard interior knobs, with a deadbolt. I opted for a proper, hanging style entryway door, and I decided to replace all of the interior knobs with levers, for two primary reasons: firstly, you can actually operate a lever while you’re carrying shit, which I frequently am; and secondly, because knobs look like shit.

Front Door Exterior – Before
Front Door Exterior – After

Look how classy that shit is! I opted for the brushed nickel, because it blends in a bit better than the other finishes. I’m still not sure what color to paint the front door, but I figure the hardware will look good with whatever I go for. The rear and garage doors also got some new hardware, but instead of the fancy entryway handle, I opted for standard exterior levers.

Rear Door – Before
Rear Door – After

I still need to replace the supplementary deadbolts on the front and rear doors with style-appropriate versions, but that’s not exactly at the top of my list, so I’ll get around to that later.

The remnants of once-proud locks, now relegated to the scrap heap.

I did a bunch of other shit too, but I’ll post about that later…